Crystal...

Balls, balls, balls. Latest rejection off the production line. I had been struggling with the wording for this for a good couple of hours when I decided to "phone a friend". My friend Chris, managed to toss out a line in a matter of minutes - well he is a professional writer after all. So with the pimped up gag, the product of two brains no less, you might hope it was in with a chance of being published. Nope - back to the drawing board. Thanks Chris - no cigar.

Trouble...

...afoot. When I first saw adverts for fish pedicures I was a tad confused. You know why do fish need pedicures that sort of thing. But it turns out it is very popular, at least this month it is. I think the idea is the fish chomp through all the dead skin on your feet which has to be one of the worst jobs even for a fish. I can't believe it works, I mean what kind of fish are they using?

Hatty Town

There is an old childrens tv programme called Hatty Town where the characters are oversized hats with bodies. I think of this every time I see the queen in one of her trademark large hats. Maybe she wears her crown underneath them? That might explain it. Gawd bless her she's in Ireland this week doing whatever it is she does. So to mark the occasion...

Av...

...or not AV that is the question. Very nice of the government to consult my opinion on the subject, but I admit to only having a limited grasp on the issue. Not helped by the incredibly misleading leaflet which was stuffed through my letterbox last week. I retreat to the comparitive safety of Notown where voting is banned and I am the benign dictator.

Keef...

...Richards. No relation unfortunately. Wouldn't everyone like an uncle like Keith? One of the few living legends. My favourite Keith anecdote is when he sustained a bad head injury falling off some steps reaching a book in his library. Which goes to show.... something.

Black...

...wednesday. First day of the new tax year and apparently it's a bad day for all the government pen pushers being given the heave ho. My heart bleeds etc etc. The Notown HQ is no more financially challenged than usual today, but that's not saying much. However, glad to report the cartoon is not autobiographical!

I am not a number...

...I am a free man. Of course while I should be filling in my census form, I have been cartooning.